Stop, Take Stock, Re-evaluate!

So I have decided this is a good mantra to live by when I feel stuck or angry or derailed.

Sometimes I find myself feeling down and a little deflated. Especially with all my friends who are getting pregnant. I have 3 that I know of that are all due in August.
I'm very happy for all of them of course. But at the same time its a little sad for me.

Overall, I've come to grips with my miscarriage. Every now and then though, feelings come unchecked at different times. Brand new babies, I can't hold. That new baby smell makes my heart ache. Walking through the baby aisles in a store makes me want to cry. Even sometimes just being out and about and hearing that cry that babies make gets me going.

I can't wait until we have another opprotunity to have the excitement of a new member to our family. I feel like I've learned sooo much the last couple of months. There are silver linings to every cloud; sometimes, though, you have to mine for it.

I recently got a 2nd copy of my P blessing this month. And it was amazing that on a day I was feeling really low, it came in the mail. I love reading it. Every stage of my life where I read it, I learn something new. What kind of baffles me is that there are 4 lines total pertaining to who I marry and if I'll have kids. Don't get me wrong, its a whole page front and back but out of all of it, only 4 Lines talk about what I thought was a fairly important stage of my life.

Going on though, there are 4 different PARAGRAPHS that talk about Friends. The friends I should make, the friends I should stay away from, the judgement I should use when making friends. And then 2 other paragraphs talk about Education. It always enhances where I need to "Stop, Take Stock and Re-evaluate" in my life.

By the Friends I have in my life, I believe I've done fairly well in making friends. I dont typically make friends with people I dont trust or who I dont think will be there for me the same way I would be there for them. I have very close friends from different stages of life.

Krista Robertson - Kindergarten / Elementry - 21 years
Val Shideler - Jr high / High school - 11 years
Nicole Walton - Jr high / high school - 11 years
Christina Nelson - Jr high / HIgh school - 12 years (even though she didnt like me till about year 3 lol)
Lacy Henry - YSA - 7 years
Alyssa Wright - YSA - Newly Wed - 7 years
Victoria Caroline - Newly wed / Futureshop - 5 years
Amy Burke - Newly Wed - Kids - 5 years
Some of the best people I could ever ask for in my life!

Of course I'm always making new friends and aquaintances. In the ward I'm in now I've made many friends who I know I can ask for help, and can lean on when times are tough. And I hope they feel the same in return.

Now when it comes to Education, which I know means more than just in class schooling, I feel I've fallen short. I dont know where or when I will make up for this short coming but its part of my "stop, take stock and re-evaluate" situation I'm at right now. I am of course, always learning, about myself, about my husband and child, and about life in general. There is still SO much I dont know yet that I need to start broadening my mind. Both Spiritually and temporally.

Well I think thats enough of a rant for today. I'm getting sleepy.
Good night!

The Things I know!!

Well I've come to the realization that there are things I know and plenty of things I dont know.

Usually the not knowing part scares me. Like not knowing why I lost our baby or where this new year is going to take us. But this year it seems like its not really important.

I may not know the answer to everything but it doesn't scare me anymore.

Life's lessons come in weird forms. Some not so pleasant but eventually, maybe it takes some time, the lessons shine through all the sadness and hurt.

So on to the things I know.

I know I have a husband who loves me and will go to the ends of the Earth for me if I asked. I know I have a son who is active and crazy and drives me nuts some of the time but one look at this face:


and how could I not melt when he asks for snoogles, and kisses me goodnight and says his pwayers!

I know I have wonderful friends, both old and new, that love me and are always there when I need them.

Life has a way of taking people away from you, and although you are sad when they are gone, it opens up doors to soooo many new opprotunities to meet and make new ones who leave just as many footprints on your heart as the ones before them.

This year may not be planned out or even next week. But I look forward to what it will bring.